


Sound of Success

by FFlove190



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: M/M, deaf!Zack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-12 05:32:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4467245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FFlove190/pseuds/FFlove190
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sephiroth discovers Zack's secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hear Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rydia (ungarmax)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ungarmax/gifts).



Sephiroth could remember what Angeal had told him when the hyperactive SOLDIER was left in his care. But he couldn't understand the  _why_ of it. There were far better babysitters – from more seasoned SOLDIER, to beady-eyed secretaries, to the rambunctious security department. Angeal could have only picked worse by dropping Fair into a pit of monsters.

 

Time was a precious thing for the silver general, especially when it came to browsing the archives. He needed to get in, get out, and make copies of everything he could possibly need before someone tried to disturb him. Being disturbed meant explaining what he was looking for, meant the added surveillance of too many eyes on him – things that would ruin the relative peace and tranquility of the archives.

 

The archives were, archaic as they were, Sephiroth's prime source of intelligence. The computer was too easily tracked and his hacking attempts were readily exposed. And after the last time he had procured books of his own, Sephiroth had decided that it was much less of a headache to simply rely on the archive instead. (How could he have known that one little book called “Sex Advice for the Socially Awkward” would have started so much trouble?)

 

“Don't touch that,” Sephiroth ordered. Fair had been reaching for the files stacked up in the 'useful' pile – the pile that would be copied and taken to the apartment for further inspection. Already irritated at the disturbance of Fair in his quiet time, he was in no mood for dealing with a mess of papers.

 

Fair, however, had other plans: he was intent on going for the file on the bottom of the stack. He tugged. The stack swayed from side to side and Sephiroth had visions of papers littering the room.

 

Sephiroth pressed down on the pile. Finally, Fair deigned to pay attention. The silver general merely repeated, “Do not touch.”

 

“Uh, okay. I guess I'll just, uh, look over here?” Fair pointed in the direction of monster-human interaction reports.

 

“That would be best.”

 

Sephiroth watched, with not a little relief, as Fair wandered away.

 

Satisfied his papers wouldn't be falling anytime soon, he turned on his heel and made his way back to the cabinet he had been working on. With his eyes carefully tracking the younger SOLDIER, Sephiroth didn't realize what was happening until it was too late. Mid-stride, his shin connected with the thin metal of the drawer, a drawer he had left open for his own convenience no less than a minute ago when Fair distracted him, and the thing flew. Papers, folders, paperclips – they fell from it's mouth as it spun through the air.

 

There was a hideous screech as the crumpled metal hit the floor. It skidded with an ear ringing noise (that reminded Sephiroth of a sword slicing through iron at a bad angle) until it smashed against the wall. Fluttering papers settled into a trail, as if to incriminate Sephiroth's boot.

 

Sephiroth didn't even let himself recover from the noise before glancing at Zack. If anyone ever saw Sephiroth as less than perfect, who knew what would come of it. What sort of threats would be made on the building that housed a careless general? Worse, what would Hojo do if he found out that there was the slightest chance he might be accident prone?

 

But Zack Fair didn't spare Sephiroth a glance. In fact he was acting like he hadn't even heard the noise as he busily shuffled through a file cabinet.

 

Watching Fair for a moment longer, Sephiroth came to a conclusion. Fair was pretending the accident never happened. Given Angeal's assessment of his student's personality, it was highly unlikely that the youth would go on to tell everyone about Sephiroth's (very unusual) carelessness. The silver general was thankful for the boy's silence.

 

Sephiroth quickly set about cleaning up the mess. The files were unimportant – records on sterilization from mako use – so he stuffed them into the deformed cabinet haphazardly. The action was followed by an attempt to straighten the drawer enough to fit on its metal runner. He would notify a secretary that the drawer had been tampered with before his arrival. After all, if no one say anything, no one would know who had actually done it.

 

Sephiroth decided then and there that maybe the hyperactive SOLDIER wasn't such bad company after all.

 

* * *

 

It turned out that when Sephiroth made an effort to become friends with someone, success quickly followed. Though, he sometimes wondered if it was due to his efforts or Zack's amicable personality. Shortly after the cabinet incident, Sephiroth made an effort to set aside time to interact with Zack, to seek him out instead of wait for the reverse, he even participated in a squatting contest (which he won only by enhancement alone, he was sure).

 

As it turned out, Sephiroth found Zack's presence quite enjoyable. His mind just worked in the strangest of ways. It was different than Angeal's stern by calm personality, and Genesis's explosive and nit-picky words – a different that Sephiroth wholly welcomed. Zack seemed to wear nothing but smiles. They were nothing like stiff and awkward things the silver general he often received at headquarters. Instead, they were so bright and beautiful that he could get lost in them. And Zack's voice was like a beacon, never quiet and always echoing down the halls – Sephiroth found himself listening for it everywhere he went, often changing course just to seek it out. It was often that he didn't quite comprehend the thoughts behind Zack's words, but the Second said them with such enthusiasm that he couldn't help but listen curiously. Sometimes Sephiroth just found himself staring into Zack's eyes as conversation lulled and he wondered at the colors in the iris: at the speckles of purple and gradients of mako green that melted into a clear blue, at the way his pupils would contract in excitement and his eyes looked like shined mako stone.

 

One day, when Sephiroth happened to mention his opinions on his new friend to Genesis, the red general had simply replied, “My, my. It sounds like you have a crush.”

 

Sephiroth knew what 'crushes' were (it was still a horrible term, it sounded more like the desire to sentence someone to death via crushing than something to describe romantic attraction), but he hadn't realized he had one on Zack. At first, he had wanted to deny it – Zack was Angeal's student, a subordinate, and one of his precious few friends – but quickly realized he didn't give a damn about any of that. Genesis suggested dinner and Sephiroth was off.

 

That was how he found himself standing in front of Zack on the SOLDIER floor. Being later in the evening, the floor was deserted save for them, but Zack was stilling passing the time doing squats. He paused long enough to smile and wave before going right back to it.

 

Sephiroth was distracted from his objective, and with another glance around he found himself asking a question he had been pondering for a while. “Zack?”

 

“Yup?” Zack said on an exhale.

 

“I've always been curious...”

 

“Oh? 'Bout what?” Zack asked with one of those dazzling smiles and voice just slightly out of breath. Sephiroth wasn't sure, but he felt like his heart skipped a beat.

 

“You have,” Sephiroth stopped for a moment to search for the appropriate phrase. Interacting with Zack often had Sephiroth repeating himself in a variety of ways to get his point across. He finally settled with, “a habit of staying late to practice your squats.”

 

Zack stood with a whuff of breath. “Well, I'm still on duty. And it's not like we have regular hours or anything, right?”

 

“This is true,” Sephiroth admitted. “As SOLDIER we are on call 24/7. But that doesn't not mean you are obligated to stay on the SOLDIER floor. You are free to pursue a personal life.” Sephiroth didn't add the 'with me', but it lingered on his tongue. That would have been, if Angeal was correct, too forward.

 

“Well, it's just easier to be here,” he shrugged. “Besides, I can hang out with people if I'm on the SOLDIER floor.” Zack lifted a leg to stretch his hamstrings as he spoke. “And I'm a lot easier to find, right?”

 

Sephiroth nodded. Zack had valid arguments, all of which the silver general found hard to disagree with. Zack bent abruptly to touch his toes. The image of Zack lowering himself with a smile, and the way his back curved as if preparing for a dive, and the way the standard issue pants tightened against the curve of his ass burned Sephiroth's eyes and he suddenly remembered why he had come down in the first place. He wasn't there to interrogate Zack about his habits or find a rebuttal to his arguments.

 

Sephiroth took a breath and asked, “Would you like to go out to dinner with me?”

 

There was no response. Zack just bounced once, and then twice, as he rearranged his hands on the floor. Perhaps he was taking a moment to decide on a response...

 

Sephiroth waited until Zack stood straight again. He must have looked eager because Zack let out a “Hmm?” Tilting his head as if he hadn't heard the question.

 

“I take it that your silence is agreement?”

 

Zack's face contorted into a confused frown. Sephiroth realized, abruptly, that it was the first time he had seen it today. “Huh? Agreement to what?”

 

Sephiroth tried not to be affronted. After copious amounts of time with Zack, Sephiroth had realized he didn't intend to be rude when he said things like that. Sometimes he was just, as Angeal said, slow processing – like the computer Sephiroth had electrocuted last year. “You weren't listening?”

 

Zack's eyes darted back and forth, as if looking for an excuse. “Uhhh.”

 

Did that mean that he _had_ been listening? And did that mean he had simply wanted a way to reject Sephiroth without actually telling him 'no'? Unlike Genesis or Angeal, Sephiroth couldn't accept something so ambiguous as confirmation or denial. So he asked again, “Would you like to get dinner with me tonight?”

 

“Sure!” Zack beamed his teeth. “Sounds great!”

 

Sephiroth was more than a little confused by the response. It seemed a little too easy. They had, indeed, been spending copious amounts of time together recently, but did that mean that Zack felt the same? Then why had he tried to act as if he hadn't heard? “Really?”

 

“Yeah,” Zack's laugh was easy going, instantly calming Sephiroth's nerves. “It's just dinner. Angeal and I go out all the time.”

 

“... oh...”

 

Zack studied him for a few moments. “Wait, did you mean, like, a _dinner_ dinner?”

 

Sephiroth was sure this was going to be one of those educational moments he often had with his friends. “... is there more than one type of dinner?”

 

“You know, like a dinner date.”

 

Sephiroth attempted a shrug – a function which he knew was a simple tightening of the shoulder muscles followed by release – but he had received many comments of its awkward nature. But Zack told him he was improving. “... aren't all dinners for dates?”

 

Zack giggled, at least that was what Sephiroth called it when he tried to stifle his laughter. “You can have dinners with friends, too, silly.”

 

Sephiroth felt a hint of disappointment creep into his voice, “Does that mean you want dinner with a friend?”

 

Zack made a show of thinking (Genesis taught him that this gesture was largely theatrical, but Sephiroth was never certain with Zack), before he smiled again. “Naw. I'd prefer a date.”

  
Sephiroth had never felt happier.

  
 

* * *

 

 

If anyone asked, Sephiroth planned to tell them it was a new hobby. But, in truth, he was more annoyed with the way his hands would twitch and twiddle of their own accord in meetings. Even if he was pretending to slice the president in half (so cleanly there was barely any blood, but copious applause), it did not mean his hands should react so much. A Turk was bound to notice.

 

There were many things Sephiroth could have done to occupy his hands. He had tried pen tapping, finger drumming, and even doodling, but they had only served to escalate the problem. (In fact, any documents with an errant doodle had disappeared. Genesis had told him about the Silver Elite's auction page after that.) So, he decided to learn sign language. He might as well do something productive with his hands – instead of making paper sculptures as Tseng was wont to do – that would help retrain his reflexes and teach him new skills.

 

Sephiroth started with the alphabet. It was confusing. So many of the gestures easily flowed into military sign that the silver general wondered how many people confused the two of them. How many people in the world even knew both signs? It wasn't as if learning materials for either were hard to come by, but what motivation could one have to learn both? Perhaps, Sephiroth pondered, a former member of the military who was deafened in battle. Or even an enlisted member who was trying to woo the affections of one who was deaf.

 

It was highly unlikely that someone would know how to sign upon joining the military. The screening test included a hearing portion; presumably anyone who knew sign language would be screened out far before getting the opportunity to learn military sign. In fact, Sephiroth wasn't even acquainted with anyone who could sign. But, still... all languages had inherent similarities, but so few people military signs outside of the military that he wondered how easily people could differentiate them. He made a note to look it up later.

 

Sephiroth was still trying to determine the relationship between the alphabet and more colloquial words when Zack walked it. It commonplace for him to stop by the office every so often now that they'd started dating, usually without announcement.

 

“Woah,” Zack stared at Sephiroth's hands as he continued to practice. “Are... are you signing?”

 

Sephiroth stopped for a moment, looking up from the reference book. Zack had instantly recognized the gestures, which led him to believe, “Do you know it?”

 

“Uh,” Zack shrugged. “Yeah. Almost everybody back home signs.”

 

“Perfect.” Sephiroth gestured his boyfriend into the comfiest chair. “I need someone to practice with.”

 

“O-ok. Sure.” Zack sat down on the chair hard enough to make it whomph. “Do you want me to start or...”

 

Sephiroth nodded. “Yes. Please begin.”

 

Zack shrugged again – Sephiroth was still envious of how smoothly he could do it – before his hands started to move. “You...” something or other. Sephiroth had only recognized that one because of its universal nature.

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“Ah ah ah, say it in sign?” Zack's frown was teasing.

 

Sephiroth looked down at the pages of pictures and definitions. He hadn't recalled seeing anything that looked like a 'what' or a 'mean'. “... how?”

 

“You can always fingerspell.”

 

“Finger... spell...” Of course. How obvious. Why didn't Sephiroth think of that? He had simply assumed too quickly that there were easier ways to express the same sentiment. But sign language came with an alphabet for a reason. Sephiroth spelled out his question in halting signs.

 

With a smile, Zack repeated his movements. “You,” he said with a pointed finger. Then he raised both palms up above his head and tilted them in a motion Zack liked to call 'jazz hands.' “Are awesome.”

 

“Really?” Trust that to be the first thing Zack say in a new language. Sephiroth couldn't help but laugh, even as Zack directed him to repeat it.

 

“See, I _told_ you I was awesome, Seph.”

 

* * *

 

Angeal was going out of town. Even though Zack's mentor didn't exactly approve of their relationship, Sephiroth often found himself looking after his boyfriend when Angeal was out. Usually it stopped at making sure he was fed and his mission pack was supplied. But this particular mission was going to be longer than usual, so the silver general had been giving the due task of training his boyfriend.

 

However, Sephiroth knew he had certain... limitations when it came to teaching. There was a reason he hadn't taken a student despite Angeal and Genesis's wild successes in doing the same. He got frustrated by how slowly people learned, his patience for the failures and botches of beginners only lasted as long as said beginners were willing to learn; most were far too easily distracted. Sephiroth would like to think Zack would be different: his focus in battle was razor sharp and he'd been under Angeal's care for years now.

 

Besides, Sephiroth had been looking for an excuse to spar with his boyfriend.

 

Sephiroth had picked the VR room for this particular spar. There were plenty of other places he could have picked: the sparring ground a few floors below, or the training ground a few streets from the tower. But Sephiroth preferred this spot: it was closer to his apartment. He had recently discovered the wonders of online shopping thanks to Angeal, and he had intentions to apply the massage techniques he had learned about in a book called Love Guru's Advice (it had been written by an author known only as Singing. Tseng had denied any involvement). It was going to be absolutely pleasant.

 

Sephiroth made sure Zack stretched and warmed-up before they began. It gave him a chance to review his strategy and Zack's form. It was a spar, but it was going to be a spar with the intention to teach: broader strokes, intentional openings, and louder footfalls. It was all going to be carefully controlled and calculated. Sephiroth just hoped that Zack would react as expected for once.

 

“Are you prepared?”

 

“Yup!” Zack readied his standard issue sword with a smile.

 

Sephiroth debated telling Zack to get serious. He often heard Angeal telling Zack the same thing, and he knew it would be meaningless. Besides, for all seriousness of the setting, Sephiroth knew he was smiling just as brightly as Zack. Angeal would be disappointed in them both.

 

Sephiroth moved first. It wasn't as if he was that eager, he simply wanted to set a pace and see where Zack would take it. It was an easy swing. Not too slow, easy to parry, something even a Third could take easily.

 

Zack parried with the flat of his standard issue. Even though he was still smiling, something in his expression hardened almost instantly. It was like Zack was finally looking at him as a fellow warrior: there was a heat in his gaze, the kind of heat that came from scrutiny and strategy. Those eyes captivated Sephiroth for a moment – and if Zack had chosen that moment to attack, well, Sephiroth's reflexes wouldn't have been able to distinguish boyfriend from enemy. He thought that Zack had the eyes of a true SOLDIER. The smile was clearly just for show.

 

Once Zack was moving, he set the pace handily. Sephiroth allowed him the offensive, as it gave him the chance to observe Zack's fighting style more clearly. There were some obvious flaws: his shoulders were too tense, more complicated attacks were sloppy, and he didn't rely on his hearing enough. But, he had a good stance and clear strokes. And he was fast. Zack's speed had always been one of his hallmarks – he had broken both the swimming and 400 meter dash records during his cadet days. Enhancement had only made him faster.

 

Pushing one of Zack's attacks to the side, Sephiroth slipped behind him. It was an easy enough maneuver to execute when an opponent overextended themselves. Sephiroth was tempted to do more, like something that ended in a throw, but he highly doubted the spar would go on after that. It was training, _not_ foreplay, after all. So he simply stayed in Zack's blind spot.

 

It didn't take Zack long to recover his balance. He took his stance and whirled his head to and fro in search.

 

True, Zack was alert. But he hadn't noticed Sephiroth yet. As much fun as it was to silently stalk Zack, Sephiroth did that enough already. He could have done a sneak attack, but it simply didn't seem fun. He wanted Zack's stare to pin him in place, to burn along his skin as they sparred – seeing his back just wouldn't do. So, Sephiroth flicked his wrist just enough to make the Masamune hum against the air, and took a loud step.

 

Neither of these worked. Sephiroth frowned as he watched Zack turn his head back and forth warily, getting tenser as the seconds wore on.

 

Zack was relying on his eyes too much, far too much for a SOLDIER. It was bizarre even. Sephiroth was already half way through casting a Blind, instinct to leverage an enemy's weakness against them, before Zack turned and finally – _finally_ noticed him.

 

And the expression on his face. Sephiroth felt a pang of adrenaline in his stomach when he recognized it: Zack hadn't even known Sephiroth was there until their eyes met. As if he hadn't heard a single thing.

 

Did that mean that Zack had injured his ears before training? No. He had been reacting as he always did... Perhaps earplugs? No. Sephiroth hadn't seen anything of the sort. Then why... unless... unless Zack simply _couldn't_ hear.

 

But that didn't make any sense. But that would imply... how could he have managed to get into the military if it was true?

 

Sephiroth lowered his stance when he realized he couldn't fight Zack anymore. He couldn't focus on the spar any longer, not with these impossible thoughts clouding his head.

 

“What's up?” The hardened look on Zack's features melted away into that easy-going smile. “We done?”

 

“The spar is over,” Sephiroth said the words carefully. He tried to ignore the cold logic that wondered if nuance even mattered if his boyfriend couldn't hear the words. “But I would like to go over some of your shortcomings.”

 

“Ooooh, post-session lecture. You gunna be as long-winded as Angeal?”

 

 

“I do not have Angeal's way with words,” Sephiroth shrugged. The action made Zack smile. “But I would like to teach you a few strategies and moves to be aware of in combat with a long-reaching weapon like mine.”

 

“Sounds neat,” Zack beamed. “What first?”

 

“First,” Sephiroth pointed out. “You need to straighten your shoulders.”

 

“Aww, I thought I fixed that.” Zack made a face as he lifted his sword and hunched his shoulders to find the right position. “Like that?”

  
Sephiroth tried not to think about his worries and set about correcting Zack's posture.After all, nothing was true without proof.

 

* * *

 

It was called deafness. The inability to process sound that could have been caused by any of a plethora of reasons – starting from something as simple as a torn eardrum to something as complex as damage in the hair follicles that processed sound. Sephiroth only had experience with a temporary sort of deafness while out on the field. He had never truly met someone who was truly disabled in that way.

 

Now, with just the mere notion that Zack could be deaf, Sephiroth couldn't get the thought out of his head. The signs seemed so obvious when he thought about it. Part of the blame lay in his own social ineptitude – perhaps if he had paid more attention to Zack he might have noticed the problem long ago. Sephiroth had never encountered such a disability outside of the field of battle. He never even considered the idea that Zack might be...

 

But how could he have known? No one did – not even Angeal. Angeal often complained about Zack's inability to focus, how he often talked over people, and how he didn't listen. And even the things that might have alerted Sephiroth to the disability were so subtle, so tiny, that he had simply attributed to Zack's personality.

 

A lack of focus could have explained how Zack was so easily ambushed. The same for how he seemed to miss chunks of conversation when he looked away. Zack's excitable nature could have been the reason why he talked so loudly and vibrantly – even in bed. Perhaps he just preferred face-to-face interaction, which explained away his dislike for phone calls – he rarely sent texts or letters either (Sephiroth had checked).

 

But then there were other things that Sephiroth just couldn't explain away. Like how Zack's hearing hadn't been bothered by enhancement like the other men; or how he had known – and was still teaching Sephiroth even – sign with great fluency; or how loud (and in fact sometimes even more lively than his voice) his gestures were; or how he zeroed in on someone's face when they were speaking and gave them his full attention.

 

The more Sephiroth pondered on the subject, the more everything about Zack finally seemed to make sense. His boyfriend was simply trying to fulfill his dreams, to advance in a world full of sounds he couldn't hear. And, if Sephiroth hadn't fought him, he may have never figured it out – Zack was a surprisingly good actor.

 

 _If_ it were true. Sephiroth needed confirmation before he could truly believe his theory. The evidence seemed so circumstantial when he pondered on it that he thought he might have simply misunderstood.

 

How could Zack actually be deaf? There was simply no logical way. He would have never gotten into the training program, let alone SOLDIER. Surely someone had to have noticed before Sephiroth did. Perhaps Angeal, or maybe even one of Zack's (startlingly many) Turk friends – there was no way Sephiroth figured it out before they had.

 

But the idea kept lingering in the back of Sephiroth's head, like a persistent thorn. No matter how much logic he put it up against, the thought wouldn't disappear. As much as Sephiroth loved being kept awake at night with thoughts of Zack, he preferred ones with less paranoia. In the end, Sephiroth needed to confirm it.

 

That was how Sephiroth found himself standing in the middle of the living room.

 

Zack was sitting on the couch, back to him and nose in a book. If this worked out as planned, Zack would startle and Sephiroth would use the excuse he had prepared days ago (“I saw a bug,” apparently used quite often in similar situations). The worst that could come would be an awkward laugh.

 

Sephiroth took a steadying breath and trained his eye on Zack; the silver general hadn't felt as nervous since the first time he stepped into battle. Raising his hands, Sephiroth slammed them together. The clap was loud – not ear-ringing, but definitely startling. It even made him wince.

 

But, Zack... ever expressive and moving Zack, didn't move a muscle. He didn't startle up and look around (as Angeal had) nor did he turn around to glare at Sephiroth (as Genesis had), he just continued sitting there. More than sitting, he turned a page casually.

 

This was not the confirmation he had wanted. But the nagging cloud in the back of his brain seemed to whisper, “I told you so.”

 

Sephiroth leaned over the couch, searching Zack's face for any sign that he had heard the sound. Or that he had somehow stuffed in earplugs when Sephiroth hadn't been looking. “Zack?”

 

Zack looked up. Logically, it could have been from a multitude of reasons, from his added weight on the back of the couch, to the change of light his shadow caused, or the way his hair fell across the book pages. But, perhaps it was simply the sound of his voice.

 

“What's up, Seph?” Zack did that little head tilt of his – the fall of his bangs revealed empty ear canals. Sephiroth desperately wanted to say something else, to ask him about the book he was reading and pretend that the whole thing hadn't happened.

 

Sephiroth wasn't sure when he became such a coward.

 

“Did... did you hear that?” the words were hard to say, but he forced them from his throat.

 

“Hear what?” Zack's brows were furrowing. And his eyes lit with something – Sephiroth suddenly remembered where he had seen that before. Back when he asked Zack out on a date, he had thought the Second was just looking for an excuse. But, now, that Sephiroth was looking for it, he could almost... see fear.

 

“Just now,” Sephiroth continued. “It...” sounded loud, “sounded close.”

 

Zack glanced around the room, a careful sweeping gaze that seemed to be trying to determine the source of the sound. Eventually, he looked back with one of his concerned frowns. “It must have been too quiet for me to hear. But I'm down for investigating the vents if you want.”

 

This was not the confirmation he wanted at all. Sephiroth hadn't truly understood the phrase 'blood runs cold' or 'fear panged in his stomach.' Not until now.

 

“No,” Sephiroth spoke quietly. “It's fine. I was just being paranoid.”

 

“You sure, babe?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Hey, come here,” Zack tugged a silver hair and Sephiroth obligingly bent. The kiss was soft, but so familiar, so reassuring. Zack was smiling when he pulled away. “I bet it was just a Turk messing with you.”

 

“Perhaps,” Sephiroth said as he pulled away. He couldn't help but notice the way Zack's eyes quickly flicked to his lips as he spoke. “I will continue preparing for dinner.”

 

Zack's smile was radiant and beautiful. “I'll be there in a minute. Just be sure not to put anything in the pot 'till I get there, okay?”

 

Sephiroth realized something as he stood there and looked down on his boyfriend. He didn't care how, or even why, Zack was like this. Zack was still Zack, deaf or not. And all Sephiroth could truly think of was: 'I have to protect Zack.'

 


	2. Speak Now

There was a saying: Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, but teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. As Genesis had once explained, it was a metaphor for life: “Giving someone the solution doesn't help them grow. It just doesn't work like that. You need to give them the tools and skills to succeed and help them flourish.” Even the following Loveless quotes had been less convoluted that Angeal's explanation, as usual, so Sephiroth had decided to keep this in mind whenever he found himself fixing another person's errs.

 

Sephiroth couldn't exactly cure deafness. He hadn't realized how little medical science knew on the inner workings on the ear. After procuring numerous books on the subject, Sephiroth had to conclude that he had neither the skill, nor medical science the knowledge, to cure the problem.

 

So Sephiroth switched tactics. If he couldn't cure Zack, he would provide a fishing rod – metaphorically speaking.

 

Many of the books he read on living with deafness told him what he wanted to know. It helped him understand subtle things – how to rely on visual cues when out and about, how to connect modern technology to home systems, how to read nonverbal gestures and understand nuance when lip reading... But none of them talked about how to survive in the military with deafness. Sephiroth hadn't expected them to.

 

Hearing was a critical part of being a warrior. If one couldn't hear an enemy, they might get caught in an ambush; they might not hear a comrade's call for help; they might not be able to react to a frontal assault before it was too late. The list just went on and on, ranging from life and death situations to daily interactions. Sephiroth wondered if there was a way to work around the disability, to hack the sense enough that Zack could get by on the battlefield. The only way to find out was to experiment.

 

Sephiroth started spending more time in the VR room, after hours. At first, he brought some SOLDIER-standard earplugs. The things were uncomfortable and passably useful for his preliminary tests. The did dampen noise somewhat, until he felt as if he was underwater, but didn't silence the world. Thankfully the VR room came with a mute button.

 

It was surprisingly difficult to fight without hearing. Sephiroth had trained for status ailments, such as Blind, Silence, and temporary deafness stemming from acoustic trauma. But engaging in a long-term fight with these ailments was surprisingly difficult. Sephiroth realized that many of his default strategies involved removing the source of the ailment in order to buy enough time to dispel it. Strategies that were entirely useless when it came to Zack's problem.

 

Sephiroth had to pay more attention to the movement of the world around him. He kept the Masamune before him, and he looked past the bulk of his pauldrons to get a better view behind him. And his sense of space was surprisingly less useful than he thought it would be; Sephiroth could feel someone when they were approximately a sword length away. But no further. He even went so far as to smell for his foes: it was particularly challenging in the VR room, as everything smelled the same (Sephiroth had made a note to talk to the engineers about that).

 

After a few days of training, Sephiroth came to the conclusion that it was impossible to fight while deaf. Not _impossible_ , per se, but one's attention became too divided. But Sephiroth kept searching for solutions. Perhaps if he had different equipment, like a broader sword and reflective vambraces, it would be easier to manage the visual cues in every direction (trying that gave him a headache). Or perhaps if he simply moved more to get a better scan of the area (this wasted energy and gave enemies a pattern to pick up on).

 

Sephiroth had to admit, the few gains that came from fighting in a mute world – not hearing the dying screams of your comrades and the innocent, a convenient excuse to ignore orders, and no crippling ear pain following an explosion – did not outweigh the drawbacks.

 

Although he had made little gains, Sephiroth refused to give up. He needed to try something entirely different. Materia.

 

The Earth materia was what the silver general started with. With a low-powered and carefully crafted Quake spell, Sephiroth became the center of a sonar. He could feel the vibrations of his surroundings: along the floor, up the walls, along the ceiling. It was a little confusing to practice in the VR room – he could feel the duality of the distorted virtual world extending and mingling with the thundering footfals of secretaries and scurrying feet of scientists – but in-field application worked quite well.

 

Sephiroth wasn't entirely sure, however, how to amplify the Quake to a three dimensional space. It was fantastic for sensing things in the nearby area that happened to be on the ground, or if he happened to be in a cave or a building. But in the open? He couldn't sense an aerial ambush.

 

It was when he was pondering this problem that he almost went to Genesis. The red general seemed to have the solution for every problem Sephiroth every encountered, particularly when it came to materia. He had gotten all the way to Genesis's office before he stopped himself; it was Zack's secret. And a secret Sephiroth would keep.

 

After several elemental combinations, Sephiroth found an alternative. The simple Command materia, Sense. In fact, it had been one of the first materias to try, but had abandoned after the success with Earth.

 

It was, complicated, to say the least. Casting and sustaining a low-grade Sense spell was difficult enough on it's own, but tuning the spell to his specifications required very particular set-up. The sense spell automatically attached to the caster's strongest sense. When used typically, the information it retrieved was processed with sight – some people saw numbers, others saw bars, and a few saw strange amalgamations of things that only they really understood. This more minute cast, however, settled itself into the next strongest sense. For Sephiroth, that was hearing – it was quite counter-intuitive. But, with some tweaking, he managed to direct the information to his eyes. And it was... strange, to say the least.

 

It was like he could see a grid everywhere around him – even where his eyes weren't looking. He could see the names of things, lingering like labels above them – threats, allies, civillians, cover, annoyances, paperwork – it was almost dizzying. But it worked.

 

The Sense spell didn't cover quite as much distance as the Quake, but when combined Sephiroth could zero in on disturbances on the ground. Potential threats with trails of sound waves vibrating along the earth could be identified and cataloged for what they were. Fighting Blind would be a thing of the past.

 

It was a solution. A viable solution that any SOLDIER would find useful. Especially Zack.

 

The only draw-back was the complexity of the techniques. They were high level and Sephiroth wasn't sure if Zack could handle them. But, whatever training was necessary, Sephiroth would give him. The tools, the training, the fishing rod – everything.

 

Now. It was time to tell Zack.

* * *

 

“Hey, Seph!” Zack said as he plopped on the couch.

 

“Zack...”

 

“I'm all ears, babe.”

 

Sephiroth didn't know how to begin, so he simply signed, “I know.”

 

“Yup. I'm listening.”

 

Sephiroth wanted to correct him – for one thing he couldn't listen, and furthermore Sephiroth was signing, so there was nothing to hear anyway. Zack was reading, not listening – but Sephiroth ignored the nit-pick and continued. “About your problem.”

 

There was a flicker on Zack's face. Signing had taught Sephiroth to pay careful attention to expressions and body posture and what they meant for every sign. Something that almost looked vulnerable passed across Zack's face, something that was like fear. But it passed quickly as Zack laughed. “Angeal tells you everything, doesn't he? What I wouldn't give to hear what you guys talk about sometimes. Don't worry, I'm sure I can master that easy.”

 

Sephiroth had hoped Zack would have picked up on it by now. But he had managed to keep a secret this long, Sephiroth shouldn't have expected anything less. “Your hearing.”

 

“What? My ears? I haven't noticed anything wrong with them... What makes you think there's a problem?” Zack's wasn't scared, no, he just tilted his head like he always did. But Sephiroth could feel the muscles in Zack's thigh tense against his own.

 

“Zack...” Sephiroth stiffened, but continued to sign, “I... I want to help you. I don't want us to end. I don't want you to -” Sephiroth didn't know when he stopped signing and starting speaking, but he lifted his hands again, “I don't want you to leave me. I want to help you fight, to get stronger. Even if you can't hear.”

 

“Wait, wait, wait,” Zack raised a hand for pause. His shoulders were visibly tight, and tension thrumming off his body, he truly looked hesitant. “How long ago did you... did you figure it out?” Zack's voice was heavy with an emotion Sephiroth couldn't identify, but it sounded almost like... fear.

 

Sephiroth shrugged. The motion was smoother than it had been, but the stress in his shoulders still made it awkward. Sephiroth lowered his hands when he realized he didn't know how to sign the words he wanted to say smoothly “A little over a month. I simply... wanted to have viable solutions before I approached you about it. I know, Zack, that you are not everything you have made yourself out to be. Yet, you have excelled far beyond your peers even with limitations, and you hide your struggle with a smile. But I want to help you. I want to give you all the resources you need to stay safe and - ”

 

Sephiroth couldn't bring himself to continue when Zack started crying. Laughing, actually. But mostly crying.

 

“Zack - ”

 

Zack's head was in his hands, and his shoulders shook. “You... you're too much,” the words were cracked, and spoken through a sob.

 

Sephiroth hadn't expected this reaction at all. Anger? Quite possibly. Crying? Very probable, Zack was a very emotional person (Sephiroth had prepared tissues). Laughter? Very low on the list. But laughing _and_ crying? That was a combination he didn't quite comprehend.

 

Sephiroth placed a hand on his boyfriend's shoulder. In that moment, Zack seemed so very fragile, like he might break at the slightest touch. He looked very much like the child he was, lost in a world without a way – like there was nothing that could save him now. That familiar pang of fear hit Sephiroth's stomach at the thought.

 

As if the touch had been all he needed, Zack lurched into Sephiroth's chest with a sob. Arms wrapped around his back, so tightly it reminded Sephiroth of a drowning man grasping hold of a float. There was a tightness in Sephiroth's throat as he swallowed as he too embraced his boyfriend. He could feel Zack hiccuping against him, the hard, almost desperate, press of Zack's forehead into his collar. Silently, he lay his head on top of Zack's.

 

And Zack kept whispering, over and over, “Thank you.”

 

* * *

 

It was a few days later when Sephiroth decided to ask his questions. They had just been finishing up dinner.

 

“I am curious, Zack.” Sephiroth spelled out the word he had yet to learn.

 

“About what? Oh, yeah don't sign and eat it can get messy.” As if to prove his point, the fork Zack had been waving flung a bit of sauce on the table. Zack didn't seem to notice.

 

“I'm sure I will master it,” Sephiroth said the words slowly as he signed, still agitated that he hadn't learned the language quickly enough to converse in it fully. “But I had questions about your hearing.”

 

Zack took a breath, a deep and readying sigh, and put down his utensils with the gravity Genesis used when he lowered Loveless. “You want to know how I made it in, huh?”

 

“That and other things.”

 

“Well...” Zack leaned back and raised his hands and signed as he spoke. “What do you want to know first?”

 

“Can you hear at all?”

 

“Ehh... sort of. Not so much anymore. But, I can hear explosions and gunshots. I'm not really... it's more like... I'm really, really, _really_ hard of hearing. You know?”

 

“So you used to be able to hear?”

 

“Oh, yeah. I came down with something bad when I was little and then something weird happened with my ears. Doctor called it, uh, degenerative hearing loss,” Zack stumbled on the word – Sephiroth almost didn't catch how quickly he fingerspelled it. “And I, uh... I went from listening to Ma's lectures to reading her lips pretty fast.”

 

“You've managed to keep your enunciation very clear.” Sephiroth had ready many books that talked about how the deaf often had trouble speaking clearly.

 

“You have my Ma to thank for that,” Zack laughed. “She made sure I could still speak good. Oh, and Balto taught me how to read words the right way, and helped me figure out how to read lips. I owe my perfect voice to tenor to them. I... am a tenor, right?”

 

Balto? That name almost sounded familiar. Sephiroth couldn't put a finger on it. Instead he smiled, thankful for the information. “I will be sure to send them letters of thanks.”

 

“Ma would love that! Oh, and maybe a whole letter to the town. The story would last for months!”

 

“Speaking of Gongaga,” Sephiroth stumbled over the fingerspelling. “You said everyone signed?”

 

Zack got a bittersweet smile on his face. “Yeah. I don't remember who started it, but they all learned to sign so we could all keep talking to each other. The mayor never quite got it down, but he always tried so hard, so I always paid extra attention to his stories.”

 

A whole town, banding together for the sake of Zack? Perhaps it was just proof that Zack was special. Even as a child.

 

“That is impressive.” Gongaga was a small town, some might even call it backwater. But for an entire population to devote themselves to a second language for the sake of one child. The thought filled Sephiroth with a strange warmth.

 

“I should write them more...” Zack said wistfully.

 

“So... how did you do it?”

 

“Do what? Get everyone to sign?”

 

“No. Enter the military.”

 

“Uh...” Zack scratched the back of his head and looked around for a minute like he was looking for an excuse before settling his eyes back onto Sephiroth. “Just remember I really, really hate lying.”

 

“Of course,” until Sephiroth found out about Zack's secret, he had been certain Zack was completely incapable of lying.

 

“Well, uh,” Zack waved his hands for a second, a gesture Sephiroth recognized as not really saying anything so much as making movement for the sake of making movement. “It started with convincing the doc to fudge my medical records a little bit.” Sephiroth had known this was the truth, why else would Zack's records look so in order? But it was strange to have Zack admit to forging legal records. Zack still looked at his face intently, as if hoping for a reaction; Sephiroth simply nodded. “Getting to Midgar was easy. I was really worried about the hearing test, but all the other guys took it right in front of me. I managed to memorize the pattern so I passed it easy!”

 

Sephiroth knew he was frowning. The entrance examination's hearing portion was usually never conducted publicly – specifically for the finicky natures of the testing equipment, they were outdated and the noise pattern was hard to change after it was entered into the device. Sephiroth had spent a long time in the archive room trying to figure out how Zack had passed this test, but there had been no mention of the public exam. In fact, it was only stated that it had followed the standard behind the curtain procedure.

 

“Getting through boot camp and entering SOLDIER sure was nerve-wracking. There weren't any problems, but there were some awful close calls! I didn't even know after my first shower to fake ear pain. Angeal almost called me on that one.”

 

“I do find it surprising that Angeal doesn't know...”

 

“He doesn't?” Zack looked strained at the thought. It was almost as if he wanted Angeal to know.

 

“... do you want me to tell him?”

 

“Um, maybe we could let him figure it out on his own? Like you did?”

 

“Wouldn't it be better if we just tell him? I'm sure it would be less stressful for you.”

 

Zack stiffened. “Seph... I – thank you, for all of this. It's... so relieving having someone else know. But, I don't want _everyone_ to know. I just... I don't think I'm ready for that.”

 

“That is fine. I will keep your secret.”

 

Zack smiled. A hand reached over the table and took Sephiroth's own.

 

Sephiroth couldn't help but break the silence when his phone received mail. Distracted by it, but unwilling to stop asking questions, he asked, “How do you answer calls?”

 

“Oh, uh, _funny story_ about that. Really, really funny.” Zack laughed with some strain. “I, uh, kind of don't. Even when I have the volume up to max -” Sephiroth had noticed that “- I have no idea what anyone is saying, I can kind of hear garble, so I just guess a response.”

 

It explained so much. It was rare that Zack wasn't late or repeating things back into the reciever. But so much of SOLDIER communication happened through the PHS, it was hard to do anything without getting a phone call every other hour. A thought occurred to Sephiroth. “... is that why you stay on the SOLDIER floor after hours so often?”

 

“I always knew you were a smart cookie, haha. Oh! Speaking of cookies, Angeal looked like he was in a baking mood today! Did you get any?”

 

Sephiroth felt a laugh bubble up. He realized it was the first time he had laughed in days.


	3. Speak Again

At first, Sephiroth told himself he wouldn't be home enough to notice the changes. They were going to be small anyway. 

 

“Nice mirror,” Zack had commented that evening, voice crisp and clear. “That whole floor-to-ceiling thing makes the room look huge. Not that it isn't already super huge. Also good distraction tactic for when Genesis comes by to steal all your shampoo.” 

 

Sephiroth still doubted that was actually what happened to his shampoo, but he was sure Zack would tell him in time. Sephiroth straightened the mirror delicately before glancing back at his boyfriend. Then he signed, “Do you like the angle?” 

 

Zack looked at the mirror intently, tilting his head and squinting his eyes. “I can see straight to the door from here.”

 

“Perfect.” Sephiroth leaned over the couch, watching his boyfriend assess the new addition to the room. Now Zack could see someone enter the room without turning around, and there was a clear view to the card reader lock so he could see if someone trying to key in. 

 

“Huh. That's a neat trick.” A slow smile spread across his face as their eyes met. “I like it.” 

 

Sephiroth let Zack pull him down into the kiss. 

 

He blamed the other mirrors on impulse buys. Zack didn't seem to mind watching him put them around the apartment. 

 

Admittedly, It was a little odd to see them when Zack wasn't around. Seeing his reflection everywhere he went made Sephiroth felt like he was standing in the middle of a stage, eyes boring into him from every angle; it was unnerving. However, his reflection was a very useful signing partner. Sephiroth got over his hesitations easily. 

 

“You know I can do more than just see my way around, Seph,” Zack had laughed one day. Sephiroth was putting a hand mirror on the coffee table – it brought the total mirrors in the living room to ten. 

 

“I know that,” Sephiroth signed back, a little stiffly. Some of his plans were taking longer to concoct than the mirrors, this was true, but he had forgotten an important sense in all of his plans – a certain puppy's nose. As usual, Zack seemed to read him like a book and distracted him from the 'grumpies' by dragging him out to dinner. 

 

Sephiroth had decided to fix the problem the next time Zack was out of town. The pots and pans seemed like the most logical place to start. Diluting a bit of his shampoo, Sephiroth dusted the bottom of each with a different scent. In concept it was a fantastic idea: a different scent would exude when heat was applied to the appliance, easily alerting Zack when water came to boil or a pan was heated. The silver general only managed to get through half of the cutlery before he realized that was one of the worst ideas he had ever had; he spent the day coughing and fighting a headache from the plethora of conflicting odors. As an added bonus, Sephiroth realized (as he turned air filter unit onto full blast, scrubbed the pots and pans with the odorless soap at least twice, and stuffed them all back into the cupboard) that cooking had plenty of other notifications Zack could pick up on easily – from the scent of cooking food and smoke, boiling water changing the humidity level in the apartment. 

 

Zack had joined him when he was hiding from the odor under the covers. No words were said, but there was a knowing smile. Sephiroth was thankful when Zack just settled next to him and they watched videos of dogs and cats playing with each other on his phone. It hadn't been exactly the night he had planned – a home cooked meal with Zack asking about the new scents in the air – but Sephiroth enjoyed it. Even if he spent more time watching Zack smile than watching a dog do tricks for treats. 

 

In short order Sephiroth produced his next solution. A small band that could be hidden under a bracer that vibrated in accordance with input. Sephiroth had coordinated with Reeve Tuesti to create it. Perhaps involving him had been a mistake, but Sephiroth refused on principle to deal with a Turk or Scarlet. He had tested the band out extensively for use in his apartment and even its durability in battle. Reeve had babbled about it every time they met (particularly at the semi-monthly board meeting), earning him odd looks from Angeal and Genesis. The director had provided plenty of reasons for why Sephiroth might need the band – from taking a shower and leaving the oven on, to putting his phone on mute – and the silver general hadn't even needed to say a word (though he had plenty of comebacks prepared should his friends try to investigate too quickly). 

 

When it was completed and the sensors were installed, Sephiroth decided to present it to Zack in it's recharding box. 

 

“Did you leave the oven on?” Zack glanced to the kitchen. Sephiroth could see his nostrils flare as he took a sniff of the air suspiciously. He got distracted when Sephiroth passed the box over. “Oh, uh, hey, what's this?” 

 

Sephiroth felt a well of excitement in his chest when Zack pulled the band out and gave him a pitifully confused look. 

 

“Put it on,” Sephiroth signed.

 

“O-okay,” Zack hesitantly snapped it to his wrist, the movement only awkward because Zack wasn't sure if that was where it went. “Is this where I– _woah_.” Zack grew wide eyed. “It just wiggled, Seph!” 

 

“The the oven reached temperature,” Sephiroth spoke while signing. He couldn't keep the smile from curling his lips when realization slowly dawned on Zack. 

 

“Seph, what _is_ this?”

 

“It's a smart band to help you in daily activities,” Sephiroth signed the practiced sentence smoothly. “It's connected to everything in the apartment, up to a 100 feet radius from it. It is also connected to your phone to alert you of phone calls and alarms. You can even sync it with a computer that will toggle the lights along with the vibrations if -”

 

“Seph,” Zack grabbed both of Sephiroth hands to stop them for a moment. More than once Sephiroth had continued a well-practiced signed speech regardless if his boyfriend had questions. Zack had learned to just stop him before he could keep going. 

 

Sephiroth stilled and waited for Zack to respond. 

 

“This... are you sure? It's _your_ apartment.” 

 

“I already gave you keycard access. You spend at least half your nights on-base here.” Sephiroth signed with a shrug. He wasn't entirely sure what the problem was. “It was easier to set up here. Especially given your recommendation to First, it would be an inconvenience to have the sensors re-installed after you move.” 

 

“It's not like I would move that soon -” Zack shook his head. “That's not important. Seph, just...are you sure?” 

 

Sephiroth frowned as he tried to understand _why_ Zack was having so much trouble accepting the small device. It really hadn't been that much trouble to set up the sensors in the apartment – even with that nosy Reeve's help (he had spent a good amount of time commenting on the quality of mirror frames around the apartment) – or to test the band's functionality. “Of course I'm sure.”

 

It almost looked as if Zack was trying to say something, but he neither opened his mouth or lifted his hands. He was just staring, as if the weight of his gaze could pierce understanding into Sephiroth's skull like a blade point. It was an expression that was somehow deep and meaningful, Sephiroth had learned this look over the course of their signing practice sessions together, a mixture of hopefulness and sobriety that he couldn't quite understand. 

 

“Thank you,” Zack signed the words and Sephiroth knew he meant them. But, somehow Zack's smile was strained. 

 

He must have caught Sephiroth's frown because he leaned up for a kiss and simply said, “I mean it.” 

 

 

* * *

 

 

After Sephiroth's fateful first spar with Zack, Angeal was receptive to setting up a training schedule that included him in the teaching rotation. Angeal had given him a strange look during that conversation, it was like he was searching for something in every word. Sephiroth had done his best to remember that Angeal knew nothing about Zack's disability, and reassured his friend that he wanted to keep his boyfriend safe. Angeal would sometimes look over at them as if suspicious of why exactly he was spending time training his boyfriend, but Sephiroth concluded that Angeal's suspicion was merely about the silver general's newfound desire to instruct Zack than anything else. 

 

Sephiroth began the training with new equipment. Reflective polishes for Zack's sword and armor as well as some higher quality bracers that came with a nicer finish. There were a few other things for the mission pack – mostly consisting of small mirrors to set up strategically when setting down camp.

 

Sephiroth had set aside time in their earlier processes to practice using his new equipment. Simple things like temporarily blinding an opponent by reflecting the light into their eyes, or angling his guard to check for opponents behind him. It was only mildly harder to introduce the new sword positions into Zack's repertoire – but Zack was a fast learner. Perhaps as good a student as he was a teacher. 

 

Olfactory identification was also important for Zack. Sephiroth had noticed more than once that Zack navigated by following his nose more often than his eyes, so he helped to mold some of Zack's intuitive understanding into something more solid: such as how to properly discern scents in combat, how to track, and how to estimate the distance of an enemy upwind. They weren't standard courses, as most SOLDIER didn't rely on their sense of smell as much as Zack; it wasn't until First class enhancements that SOLDIER typically started relying on it. 

 

But what Sephiroth was truly focused on was materia training. 

 

It wasn't to say that Zack wasn't gifted with materia. His magic was strong and he could call summons without conscious effort or a drain to his MP. But the efficiency of his mana use was always in question; Zack tended to drain his MP very quickly when he realized an enemy had a certain weakness to magic. That is to say, Zack's going power in battle was always in question when his MP stores were always running on empty. So, Sephiroth had given him a materia usage boot camp, Angeal had stood guard with him. It had been necessary. 

 

After a few weeks, Zack's MP stores and efficiency had become adequate, Sephiroth started teaching him the sonar techniques. By the time Zack had a basic grasp of the abilities, Sephiroth transitioned their training from the VR room and to the outdoor training area. 

 

“I can smell _everything_ ,” Zack breathed in awe. 

 

It shouldn't have been surprising that the strongest sense Zack would end up using was his nose. Of course it should have been logical, but Sephiroth was still wrongly amused by it. “Remember to sharpen the Sense spell. When the world is in clearer focus you can start assigning statuses and information to objects.” 

 

“Woah,” Zack wheeled around on his heel and looked around him, trying to get a grasp on the spell. 

 

Sephiroth walked around to face him again, waiting until Zack's eyes were back on him. “Your Quake is still too large. The intensity needs to be small enough so that I can't feel it.”

 

Zack nodded and refocused his efforts. Sephiroth knew that simultaneously casting two spells from materia was a strain, especially when they were this complex. But he continued to watch and correct. 

 

One day, Zack came to training not wth the materia Sephiroth had given him, but instead a materia fusion of the the Earth and Scan. Sephiroth hadn't even known ShinRa was still producing new materia. But the fused materia, which Zack proudly called the Sonar, had stripped away all the unnecessary attributes from the other materia and combined all necessities into a single spell. Casting speed, cost, and strain was reduced and the spell had been sharpened to an intense clarity. Sephiroth was impressed.

 

He was so impressed he visited the two brothers who fused it in the materia room of the SOLDIER Floor. It was a room Sephiroth rarely visited, but he decided on coming back. On his first visit he only stayed long enough to ensure that the brother who fainted upon seeing the silver general didn't get brain damage, while making arrangements for additional Sonar materia. 

 

Sephiroth procured a slim ankle bangle and suggested very strongly that Zack always keep the Sonar on him. Zack got that strange look on his face again – the same look when he had been presented with the band – but when asked about it he simply shook his head and kissed out a 'thank you.'

 

Zack adapted to the low-level spell quickly. He was faster and more responsive in battle than he had ever been before – the ferocity of his attacks nearly took Sephiroth by surprise. Their spars started to fill him with a strange warmth. It wasn't quite pride, but it reminded Sephiroth of happiness; of course it could have only been pride seeing Zack succeed so quickly. 

 

Everyone started to notice the force that was Zack Fair. But Angeal was the only one who furrowed his brow and asked Sephiroth how he did it. Sephiroth had merely shrugged and claimed trade secrets. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Zack was promoted to First Class. Sephiroth couldn't remember seeing him happier – he was practically climbing the walls in excitement, barely able to sit still long enough to even share a kiss. In fact he broke so many mirrors with a wild gesture that it was almost funny now. They had spent a rare night out and wrapped in each other's arms. 

 

By the time morning rolled around, Sephiroth was certain Zack's smile would have stopped war and brought peace to the world – if he stopped squatting long enough for anyone to appreciate it. He was out the door at a run – early, even – for his first day. 

 

Sephiroth felt his heart warmed and he couldn't help but sigh happily.

 

That night Sephiroth was cleaning the apartment. Zack had already made plans to spend the evening celebrating with Angeal, and spend one last night in his old room before the big move. Sephiroth had finished cleaning up the glass shards, and removing the large mirror in the living room when he heard Zack's keycard swipe in. 

 

Zack wasn't supposed to be back. 

 

Sephiroth turned to greet him, but stopped short when he saw the expression on his face. It wasn't quite a look of horror, perhaps shock would have been better; Sephiroth didn't know what to do when Zack awkwardly stepped towards him, but open arms and catch his boyfriend when he crumpled. 

 

The apartment was quiet, so unlike it had been this morning in the whirlwind of Zack's exuberance. Zack's breathing was ragged as his fingers dug into Sephiroth's back. The press of Zack's forehead into his collarbone was hard, desperate in a way that was out of their routine. Sephiroth had only felt it once before. The day that Sephiroth had told him he knew.

 

Sephiroth wanted to ask. He needed to know what had happened. Had someone simply found out Zack's secret? If something worse had happened and Sephiroth would receive notice. Alarms weren't blaring so he probably wouldn't get called away to deal with an emergency any time soon.

 

Zack moved away, pulling Sephiroth by the hips until they were settled on the couch. 

 

Sephiroth didn't like the way that Zack was looking down, as if he was steeling himself for an impossible strategy, but the silver general said nothing. 

 

Zack raised his gaze and signed, “Angeal knows.” 

 

A myriad of questions rose in Sephiroth's mind. 'How' was the first and foremost, followed simply by 'how long,' and ending with 'why now?' If Angeal had known, why did he wait until today to say anything, to ensure that Zack made First and the company couldn't get rid of him? And if Angeal had yet to know, what had given Zack away today? Asking those questions didn't seem right, not right now – Sephiroth could corner Angeal and ask him himself – instead he signed a phrase that Zack usually asked him, “Are you alright?”

 

Zack reached out a hand and wound his fingers between Sephiroths, thighs touching as they stared into each other's eyes. Sephiroth had sworn to himself that he would never let Zack look like this again, would never let him be this vulnerable, this in pain. When Zack squeezed, Sephiroth squeezed back.

 

“It was my fault.” Zack signed with his free hand. “He didn't know. And I just... it was so stupid. I was stupid.” The two-fingered 'y' bounced against his boyfriend's head with loud thumps.

 

Sephiroth just squeezed Zack's hand – Zack squeezed back desperately. 

 

“It was. I just _forgot_ for a second.” Zack grimaced. “I was... signing and Angeal called me on it. And I – I babbled. I didn't, and he... he had _no idea_.” Zack looked so in pain as he signed. “He was so angry.”

 

Sephiroth brushed an errant bang from Zack's forehead, resting his hand along Zack's cheek. It would normally be curled into a dimpled smile when he did this. Sephiroth wanted to protect him from anything that could hurt him. Even Angeal.

 

Zack frowned and shook his head, before pinching Sephiroth's nose. He hardly needed the call to refocus, and he easily set-aside half-formed interrogation strategies. “Stop thinking like that. Yeah, this... it really sucks. But I don't need you to do whatever you're thinking.” 

 

“But, Zack - ”

 

“No. I knew he would find out sooner or later. I just... didn't think that would have been how.” 

 

Sephiroth tried to think of something actionable he could produce, something he could do to make Zack feel better. But, the more he stared at Zack, the more he thought that, perhaps, that Zack didn't need something to act on. He just needed... what was that phrase? Ah, yes, a shoulder to cry on. 

 

“I'm here for you,” Sephiroth signed. “Always.” 

 

Zack's smile wasn't large, nor was it laughing, but it was still a smile.

 

Zack had wanted to talk to Angeal alone after that, despite Sephiroth's insistence otherwise. So he was left pacing his office and worrying over the outcome of the encounter. Also wondering how much nonlethal damage the origami katana could inflict. It seemed less dangerous than the pens and books, and it was already sword-shaped. 

 

But apparently everything worked out just fine, more than fine. Angeal had been more shocked than anything. And a shocked Angeal meant an Angeal that was bad at keeping secrets. 

 

“I just can't believe I didn't... I've been training you for years.” 

 

“What Angeal _means_ to say is that he thought you were terribly stupid. We all did, dear.” 

 

“Thanks, Gen.” Zack wasn't exactly pouting, his pouts were more playful than the expression he was wearing. Sephiroth didn't doubt that everyone in the program wouldn't know within the day. 

 

Sephiroth had wanted to berate Angeal for talking with anyone before he and Zack had managed to track him down. But he knew that the open secret that was his and Zack's relationship would get thrown back in his face. So he simply stood there by Zack's side. 

 

“I'm more surprised Sephiroth managed to keep it secret. You, my friend, are horrible at it.” 

 

“Hn,” Sephiroth didn't bother to respond with wit. Zack's back was pressed against him, he couldn't see anything he said anyway. 

 

“You know,” Zack said slowly, “It's kind of nice that everyone knows now. Like, this was the best time for it to happen. Not like you're going to get rid of me anytime soon now that I'm a First, right?” 

 

“Well, I'm not learning sign language for you. _I'm_ not from Gongaga.” 

 

“Banora's just as backwater. And it doesn't even have a mako reactor!”

 

“I never! It has me!” Genesis fluffed his hair. “Banora is practically a metropolis in comparison!”

 

Sephiroth relaxed as he felt Zack laugh against him. He was glad he hadn't attacked Angeal with the paper sword – it was probably be poisoned anyway. He smiled into his boyfriend's hair. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“It all makes sense now,” Genesis said. The red general had planted himself into one of the chairs in Sephiroth's office, staring intently across the desk. 

 

Sephiroth was trying to ignore him in favor of getting through a backlog of mission reports and preparing for his meeting with Lazard. They were going to discuss the future of SOLDIER to include persons with disabilities like Zack's. 

 

“You've changed. Well, I thought you changed months ago, but I was certain that was just a phase. Now I know for certain. You've changed.” 

 

Sephiroth was torn between curiosity and throwing Genesis out. Going through backlog had been straining his eyes, so he let curiosity win. “How so?” 

 

Genesis scoffed. “Do you really need a list? Well, then. Let's start with your face.”

 

Sephiroth instantly regretted asking. “Genesis - ”

 

“Seriously, though, Seph. You just have this stupid little smile – it doesn't even make people piss their pants anymore. It's almost like you _enjoy_ board meetings nowadays.” 

 

Frowning, Sephiroth leveled a glare at his friend. “I don't smile that often. I only smile when I'm happy.”

 

“That's just it. You _are_ happy.” 

 

“I'm no-” Sephiroth stopped himself. Because he realized that Genesis was right. He was happy. Happier than he could ever remember being, it was almost like he was floating above all the problems that used to embroil him. He didn't feel a murderous rage whenever he encountered the president anymore (not that he still didn't think of a variety of new ways to kill the man every time they met), and the Turks were more tolerable than he could remember (after a tearful reunion they had learned Balto had been the whole reason Zack even passed his exams), and taking a mission was practically like a well-deserved vacation instead of a drug he craved day in and day out. “Huh.” 

 

“And I know why.” Genesis said with a flourish. 

 

“... you do?” That was highly doubtful. 

 

“Ah, ah, ah. My friend, you are in love.” 

 

“Love?” Sephiroth was relatively sure there wasn't a more disgusting word in the human language than love. It was a made up thing, just a chemical reaction that dictated a need for reproduction with a suitable attractive mate – it wasn't even possible for two men to feel such a sensation. It was poetic and overly dramatic, and best suited for the horrible romantic comedies Angeal liked to indulge in. It wasn't real. 

 

“Don't give me that face,” Genesis 'tsk'd. “Just look at the facts. Think of how much you've changed your life for Zack.” 

 

“Changed my life?” Sephiroth didn't care for the phrasing, but neither did he understand what Genesis was trying to tell him. “What are you talking about?” 

 

“Well, the sign language for one.” 

 

Sephiroth sniffed. “I needed a new hobby, and I wasn't about to take up papercraft.” He looked meaningfully at the tiny paper blade displayed on his desk. 

 

Genesis looked disbelieving. “So that's why you practice every waking moment?”

 

“There's no reason to pursue something if you aren't going to do it well.” 

 

“Hmm, well. How about the mirrors? You seemed to have gained quite an interest in them a few months ago.” 

 

That wasn't... exactly changing his life for Zack. The mirrors were quite functional for practicing sign language. That they helped make Zack more comfortable was only a plus. “You said it yourself: I'm vain.” 

 

“But you don't carry around a compact mirror, in your pocket like Zack does, or stare at your reflection for hours on end... interesting, very interesting.” Genesis drummed his fingers in the lull, one of his familiar tactics to keep Sephiroth's attention. “And what about the training?” 

 

“What about my training?” This conversation was giving Sephiroth a headache. 

 

“You've made quite a lot of time in your schedule to train Zack.” 

 

“Angeal is a busy man,” Sephiroth said simply. And he wanted to make sure that Zack was as well prepared as any SOLDIER could be for the battlefield. 

 

“Well, that is true,” Genesis made a show of thinking. “But you're also quite busy, yourself. And color me surprised when I found out you were actually using that time to _train_ your lovepup instead of fornicating in the nearest closet!”

 

“Genesis,” Sephiroth sighed. “It only means that I want Zack to come back from the battlefield. Angeal is the same. It doesn't mean anything-” 

 

“Or how about the fact that you managed to keep Zack's secret from Angeal and me for months! We figured out your attraction to Zack long before you worked up the nerve to ask him out on a date.” 

 

Sephiroth didn't really have a response for that one. He was horrible at keeping secrets from those two; he had given up trying for the most part. 

 

“Ah, and one more thing. Every time anyone so much as says Zack's name you get this – yes, just like that. You get that dopey look on your face.” 

 

“I do not.” Sephiroth hadn't even realized he was smiling. He had to work for a second to turn it into a glare. 

 

“Face it. You're head over heels in love.” 

 

“Genesis. I think you're mistaken.” 

 

“Oh, Sephiroth,” Genesis sighed. It wasn't wistful or dramatic, like he had been expecting, it was just a sigh. “You don't have to be so afraid of love. Love is just a word to describe a sensation. And it's obvious to anyone that - ”

 

“It is simply intense attraction,” Sephiroth said stiffly. “We are dating, it is only natural that I am attracted romantically and otherwise. And as for your list of my,” he wiggled his fingers “umm” as he thought of an appropriate word, “new found hobbies: they just happen to meet his needs as well as my own.”

 

Genesis stared at him. “Is that what you told the tinkerer when you asked him for that vibrating watch? Which, mind I remind you, will never make a good bedroom toy.”

 

“Tuesti?” Sephiroth had almost forgotten about the band. Once Zack had accepted it, it was unobtrusive and barely noticeable. In fact Sephiroth tended to forget about it when they weren't together. “Ah, as for that little project. I... can get a little distracted - ” doing squats with Zack, his mind unhelpfully supplied “ - multi-taking between rooms. The vibration function is a helpful reminder.”

 

“Oh, yes, so the great general Sephiroth pays so little attention that he forgets he's filling up the bathtub?” 

 

“... yes.” 

 

“Mhmm, mhmm. Now,” Genesis glanced at Sephiroth's ungloved hands. “I'm almost certain I saw that on Zack's wrist. Not yours. Strange. Almost like... it was made for his use.”

 

“...” Sephiroth wasn't entirely sure what Genesis was trying to tell him, but knew he would have a headache for the rest of the day. 

 

Meanwhile, the red general sat back in his chair and smirked. 

 

“Was there something you actually needed, Genesis?”

 

“Oh, no. Just passing the time with witty banter. See you at the meeting.” 

 

Sephiroth frowned as Genesis closed the door, because there was absolutely no way that warm feeling in his chest could be love... could it? 

 

Sephiroth pushed his paperwork aside turned to the computer and did a simple text search. What  _was_ love anyway? 

 

* * *

 

As always, Sephiroth wasn't sure how the Silver Elite found out about his newfound hobbies. If he knew _how_ they acquired their information, he might be able to figure out what sort of information they were spreading. Instead he was left to puzzle out the aftermath of their gossip. 

 

“Open that one!” Zack only let Sephiroth open the gifts with letters attached. It had almost become an evening ritual to open them together. 

 

Sephiroth obediently opened the gift box. It was a slender piece of plastic that reminded him of an earring. There was a fist-sized box next to it with an ominous button on top. He pressed it. The plastic sparkled with blinding light and Zack laughed when he all but destroyed it in his haste to turn it off. 

 

“Okay,” Zack cleared his throat, and began to read aloud. “Dear Sephiroth. You hid your spazziness so well. It's nice to know that you're just as human as the rest of us. Love, Johnny. P.S. Here's a light for your keys!” 

 

“What does s-p-a-z-i even mean?” Sephiroth signed with a chuckle. 

 

Zack had just shrugged, “I've been known to be called s-p-a-z-z-y once or twice.” Sephiroth noted the silent correction as he put the device into the 're-gift' pile. It seemed like something Mr. Tuesti would enjoy. 

 

“Then I'm honored to be called spazzy.” 

 

Zack had just given him a toothy smile. 

 

The gifts and letters were multitudinous, and almost never-ending. But the regular drain on his time and energy didn't annoy him him so much anymore; it was actually almost nice. 

 

Sephiroth had always felt like the Silver Elite was a nuisance that he was obligated to suffer through for his public image. He had always ignored the gifts, and every letter he read made him feel like he was being watched. But, at some point, the tone had shifted – wildly. Sephiroth wasn't sure if it was the submissions themselves, or Zack's presence at his side, but the same letters he would have burned now found a home on the fridge, clipped in place by the colorful magnets someone had given him as a gift. In fact, Zack even had him write responses to the letters and gifts he enjoyed. It was all oddly rewarding. 

 

It almost seemed like people were less afraid of him now, more willing to speak to Sephiroth the person instead of tripping over themselves when they met the Silver General. Even the former scientist down in the SOLDIER fusion had stopped fainting at the sight of him. It was nice. 

 

It felt like everything was easier with Zack at his side. Was that... love? 


	4. Hear You

It was amazing how much could change in just about a year – or longer, if he was going by Seph's calendar. Zack was a First Class SOLDIER now, with all the trimmings and more missions than he could sneeze at. He'd found Balto after almost nine years of thinking the guy was dead (and he had those snazzy glasses to boot). He wasn't looking over his shoulder at every angry gesture, terrified that someone had finally figured out that Zack Fair was deaf. And he was in love, so stupidly in love that sometimes he couldn't think of anything but Sephiroth for hours at a time. 

 

Trying to think about how different his life was, was just dizzying. Zack wasn't even sure how he managed to survive day in and day out before Seph flopped into his life like a beached whale. Seph hadn't even seemed to know the significance of everything he did, hiding behind shallow excuses and that adorable shrug of his. And every little thing he did – the way he practiced signing, the way he didn't mind if Zack didn't talk back, the way he decorated the house with all the mismatching mirrors and was so damn proud of each and every one, the way he had dumped hours into creating the Sonar skill, the way his expressions just got clearer when he signed, the way he smiled when he relaxed into the couch, the way he would pull Zack into his arms whenever he needed it... 

 

Zack was pretty sure he couldn't exist without the guy anymore. They were all but living together now. And it seemed like the minutes Zack didn't spend with Seph, or thinking about Seph, he spent them talking about Seph. 

 

And Seph was just... he had this smell. It smelled like home. He also smelled like whatever shampoo he used that day, and like metal and leather primed for battle. But, he just... and Seph just had this presence. His body was so warm that Zack swore he was melting whenever they touched, and his voice rumbled in his chest enough to give Zack tingles, oh... and his skin was taut and stiff as porcelain until he relaxed into a hug, and then there was... and his fingers were so long. How could a person's fingers be so long? He should have been a finger model, and every single sign was so damn attractive when Seph did it...

 

Ah! Zack needed to focus! Tomorrow! Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow! Zack was getting his next batch of mako showers. Well, technically it was his first batch since his promotion – which meant a stronger dose and getting laid up in bed for days adjusting. And Seph was going to be there the whole time. 

 

Zack remembered the look on Seph's face when he told him. 

 

“What?” Seph had blinked deeply, furrowing his brow into the lids of his eyes as he frowned in confusion. And Genesis complained that sign didn't have nuance. The guy never had a proper conversation with the silver love bug. 

 

“I can hear, Seph,” Zack had been so tense with excitement that he could barely get the signs out. “It's not a lot, but, I can _hear_. For real.”

 

“Temporary sensory overload...” Seph's look of realization morphed into one of shocked awe. “You will... you can... hear.” 

 

Needless to say (but maybe with a few kisses), Seph agreed to look after him. It was going to be the best shower fallout  _ever_ . 

 

 

* * *

Zack felt like he was going to die. At least Seph was going to be there to watch it. Ugh, and everything just smelled like him. The bed, the sheets, his skin; Zack was drowning in his smell, and rolling beneath the tangling waves of Seph's hair. 

 

Zack reached out a hand – ignoring the way the air was cold and itchy like a bunch of needles were trying to get into his skin – and groped for Sephiroth. Even though he didn't find the warm softness, he must have been successful, because all that hair just rippled like a tide coming in and a warmth was on his ear. A wet puff of breath that said, “What do you need, Zack?” 

 

Zack moaned pitifully, or maybe he sobbed. It was hard to say what his lungs were doing from one moment to the next, and if he focused too hard he thought he could feel them trace his ribs and then curl around his innards. 

 

But, Sephiroth... sounded so beautiful. His voice was just, was just – Zack didn't even have the words to describe it. It made him feel whole and complete, and sent tingles down his spine (which he was pretty sure was still under his skin). His voice was like, was like Seph's kisses turned to sound – slow and careful, but passionate and warm. 

 

God, if only he could enjoy it more. Even in the dim room, Seph's hair was too shiny and gave Zack a headache. And his scent – his beautiful scent – was overwhelming enough to make Zack nauseous. Whenever Seph touched him it was like the delicate equilibrium of his body tipped over and he was reminded of every thread in the sheets scratching against him, or how he felt like half-cooked food with Seph on one side of him, or how Seph's hair was absolutely everywhere and on everything Zack touched. 

 

Seph was quick with the vomit bowl – it stank of aluminum, and maybe a little bit like roses. The guy was also quick with water and food even before Zack realized he needed it. He just seemed to vanish like a magician and re-appear just as Zack blinked. 

 

“Seph?” Talking hurt, like his voice was vibrating right out of his throat. 

 

“I'm here.” 

 

Zack squeezed his eyes shut, willing away everything wrong with his body. He was determined to carve the sound of his lover's voice into his memory, to remember the nuances of it. He was going to remember how it sounded like the wind was blowing through his ears with each breath, he was going to remember the richness of his voice like he was going to remember the tinkle of the waterfalls back home, and enshrine it with the frog songs of his memory. 

 

“Zack.” And always remember the way it was so gentle, and how he said Zack's name... and the way that his lips sounded when they kissed his ear. 

 

“Seph.” Zack gripped one of Sephiroth's hands and fisted his boyfriend's hair. He wanted more: he wanted more sound, for Seph to keep talking and never stop.

 

“I love you, Zack.” 

 

Zack's breath hitched in his throat, it felt like the air was trying to suffocate him with it's biting freshness. But he couldn't stop the response. Not when Seph had said... this from the guy who disputed every sappy romance confession he read about and threw popcorn at the TV with such violence that he thought his opinions could change movie. 

 

“Seph, I-I love you.” 

 

Those three days were the most beautiful torture Zack had ever experienced. Zack told himself he would forget everything bad about it. Like the way his muscles had this constant, lingering ache, or the flaring nausea that made it hard to keep food down, or the burn of the air on his skin... No, he was going to remember the way that Seph was always there, the way his warmth just pillowed against Zack's body, and how every single breath was filled with so much Seph that it was suffocating. And – most importantly – he was going to remember the way Seph's voice would sound when it whispered into his ear. 

 

Zack couldn't count how many times Seph said “I love you,” or even how many times he said, “Zack.” He'd tried his hardest, but every time he heard Seph's voice he just forgot everything else. Each and every word had been precious. Zack savored all of them.

 

Because after three days it was over. 

 

Zack woke up, wrapped loosely in Seph's arms and hair and feeling like himself. The world was quiet again. 

 

When he saw Sephiroth watching him, Zack just smiled and whispered with the signs, “I love you.” 

 

Seph just smiled and signed, “I love you, too.” 

 

Even though the world was quiet again, and even though he could no longer hear Seph's words, Zack remembered the way it sounded and was content. 

 


End file.
